The Fine Beverages to be found In BARcelona

Most of the yoofs coming to this resplendent and glorious city-see Freddie Merks and the Dons homage above filed under DELUSION- will be wanting to put the 'Bar' in Barcelona so I've prepared a quick and handy hint sheet to see you on your way to getting four sheets to the wind in Barcelona!

Now, while it may be true that the Catalan Capital possess' many fine drinking establishments, a true nightlife connoisseur wishing to sample some of Barca's nocturnal delights will dispense with the notion of visiting a bar altogether. That's right visiting a bar in Barca is unnecessary. Simply head down to your local supermarket and get your grubby hands on a couple litres of vodka at a knock out price. Upon leaving the shop swig them back immediately ..no need for mixes and glasses. Neat and cheap, thats how the locals drink it!

Easy isn't it?..next step stagger down the Ramblas shouting obscenities and singing as loudly as you can in your native tongue to make yourselves known to the upstanding entrepreneurs who line the street awaiting your custom. These upwardly mobile salesmen will provide you with the 'top ups' you require. "CERVEZA, CERVEZZA beer" are the magic words you should look out for. They will offer you the finest domestic brews at a great rate. If you are really fortunate you might get nice a dose of wails disease thrown in for good measure.


Just so you know. that beer you hold in your hand has been carefully stored and matured in one of Barcelona's famous cellars, cellars so clean and hygienic it would make your granny proud. Seeing how this is Barcelona you know that these same cellars are guaranteed rat free.


Vintage drinks at non vintage prices..drinking al fresco..what could be better?.. A punch in the face? A nice mugging? a spot of sexual assault?...well it's your lucky day..all these things are available at no extra cost!

A number of confused visitors have written in to pick my brains as to why Estrella Damm beer sells for 1 euro and Coke sells for 50 euros on the Barca market?...the answer I give, as always, is CATALAN PRIDE!