Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Misdirection-Some of that Barcelona Magic Revealed

"Misdirection is a form of deception in which the attention of an audience is focused on one thing in order to distract its attention from another.|" Wikipedia

Barcelona is a magical place. However, as any witch worth her broomstick will tell you there is white magic and there then there is black Barcelona there's an awful lot of people throwing some nasty voodoo around. Here's a run down of some of my favorite tricks from the Barca grimoire.

The make your Camera, Phone and Wallet Disappear trick- This is the basic one, the trick that every budding young sorcerer's apprentice must perfect. There are many variations and the more advanced of Barcelona's magicians take great pride in developing their own 'signature' moves, a trick of such skill and daring that leaves even their comrades in thievery-sorry i meant magic-breathless with awe and wonder. The basic premise of this trick is to separate a member of the audience-the unsuspecting victim- from some of his/her portable goodies.

One of most common methodologies involve going up to a member of the audience and shouting "football, football, football" while performing a dance worthy of a dervish before linking arms in a gesture of international male solidarity. While the victim is remarking upon the warmth of the Barcelona natives or replaying a compliation of Wayne Roony's greatest goals in his head, the Barcelona native is performing some magic worthy of the great Zinadine Zidane and relieving the audience member of their wallet. Some of the more literal minded exponents of this trick take the whole football thing at face value and assemble a 'team' of 11 and descend en mass. Football is big in Barca and you dont't need to go to the Camp Nou to see it.

The Sleepy Sleepy Trick- A reoccurring theme in folklore is the enchantress or wizard who manages through arcane ritual to place a princess into a prolonged deep sleep. The Barca natives recreate Sleeping Beauty on a nightly basis. It's simple, head into a bar with a bag of Rehipnol or GBH, slip them into a couple drinks while the audience's attention is elsewhere.
Wait a couple hours, smile and chat to the audience- preferably a single female with a nice handbag. When she starts getting tired offer to take her out for some air, then bobs your uncle..the audience is putty in your hands.

The Magic of Art Trick- Barcelona has a well deserved reputation as being one of Europe's artistic capitals-Picasso, Dali and gaudy Gaudi have all left their mark on the city. Proud of this heritage, some of the Barca natives continue to weave this artistic magic on Las Ramblas and make a buck. The key to this trick is to get up early, pick up a half finished poster or even better a reusable stencil for 50 cents and some cheap paints. Next, find yourself a nice spot on Barcelona's famous throughafare. Set up a bowl or hat to collect the oodles of cash that will soon be coming your way. While making overly exaggerated artistic poses and gestures fill in the poster during the course of the day with your cheap paints. Next, watch the as people shove money in your face and offer you their bodies in praise of your wondrous artistic skills. The key to this trick is to create the illusion of spontaneity. You need to make it look as if you have been down on your hands and knees enslaved by the artistic muse and couldn't really give a shit whether someone chucks you a tenner or not. The correct attire-beret perched on head, jumper full of holes to give off that starving artist look- goes along way to maintaining this illusion.
For extra dosh you can even send some of your apprentices out to frisk the crowd while people are distracted by your artistic magic. The power of art hey?


Anonymous said...

Maybe we need to send all the happy people in the world to Barcelona and make a stand. Attack the doom and gloom. Lets rock those rats! Teach them how to live eh??????

Anonymous said...

i fucking hate barcelona